Innovade

Hi, everyone.
Thanks for all the encouragement and stuff.
I am fine.
The week has been rather swift and smooth sailing.
This was only the second week and i felt as if i had been in sch for a month or more already.
Starting to feel tired(physically) as the days pass.
But i wont give up!
Hope i have the stamina to pull thru till the end.
I will change!
I will innovate.
The Gundam 00 series is finally over.
It was great, as much as gundams have always been.
Highly inspirational too.

Over the past week, other than academic work, i am also "double tasking" for my physical test too.
I have only 5 more weeks to my napfa.
Can i make up for the physical strength i have lost in the past 5months(or more) in time?
My 2.4km timing has went down atrociously, i have so much to catch up on.
Tried to run as much as possible even on sat to regain my fitness, but all i get is escalating muscle aches and fatigue.
Napfa test, Mid-yrs...
Looks like this term is going to be hell with two "race" to compete in.
But i shall persevere for i will make it!

Other that these, there is also the social aspect of school life to talk about.
But i am just too stretched both mentally and physically to bother about my social life.
Unlike last year, where enjoying myself to the fullest is number 1.
Now, i rather be left alone.
Having friends seems to impede my pace, would be wasting a lot of time talking rather than working.
But, having no social life also seems to leave me feeling very empty inside.
I desire to be a loner, yet do not like the feeling of loneliness.
Ironic issint it?
No matter, as if i have the time and energy to bother about these worldly issues.

Mom and dad is forcing me to go for tuition.
As much as i know that it is for my own good, i do not want to go.
Two reasons.
1) I want to prove that i can do it myself just like how everyone else does it, and i dont want to waste that money since i believe i can do it on my own.
2) If i am running on a 7am to 9pm time slot on weekdays and 8am to 5pm on saturday, please let me have my sunday off! Moreover, i am not like struggling in understanding concepts, i simply needs practice and practice needs time not tuition, and especially not money.
Why cant they just get off my back and let me handle my own affairs?
Just because i scored horribly in my "A"s means i am dumb, i am stupid, i am not coping well/struggling in my studies?
Is that even true?
Like u even understand the crux of my situation.
All your assumptions are based on hearsay or your own perception, LAME!
Furthermore, why the hell do i need to spend the extra time and money on tuition when i have a whole pool of teachers in school dying to give consultations.
Anyway, i am not going to any tuition unless i feel like doing so and that's final.

Amidst all the mugging and stuff,-as much as i would not want to admit- some "human relation" stuff is also bugging me inside.
Some people just dont know when to shut their gap, dont know what to say and what not to say, and needless to say not even considering where to stay.
Retarded.
Rampaging through my private space in public.
That was 1.
2 was my fault.
I know(or had realised) that i can be too carried off when i am ecstatic and do not know where to draw the line.
Then sth happens and i start to react childishly.
And amidst all the childishness i start to become more sensitive to what i hear and what i see which then affects me and results in further immaturity.
As much as i want to apologise my childish heart pull me back.
Dilemma.

Once again, i have nothing more to say which means its time to say goodbye.
And once again here i am wondering the same thing in my mind.
Why am i saying so much crap?
What am i saying all these "nonsense" for?
Do anyone even understand what i am saying?
Do anyone even care?
In fact, why am i even sharing my personal stuff?
Why do people even read about it for?
To gossip? To laugh at?
Ok, maybe i am wrong.
Maybe some do care.
I am just feeling insecure, side effect of loneliness.
Err, ps/fyi, this is a blog-virtual world- and outside the screen is reality-real world-, please do not mix or combine both.
Its very irritating, very irritating to narrate, criticise, discuss(or what so ever) anything i said here with me in real life especially if u are just saying for the fun of it.
It is very irritating and it pricks my nerve, just like how that girl in my class can be.
Bloody hell keep disturbing me, i doing one sub u keep asking me other sub, i no need do work arh?
Then teach u liao u still but, but, but, so insistor, u dont believe still ask me for what.
TSK!
And talking about insistor, the "real" insistor and attacker better stop attacking me hor.
Wa lao!
Scott signs off.