Nostalgic

Went back to mayflower "today", since it not past 12am.
Felt a lot.
Went back originally for the mentoring program.
Did not turn out to be what i supposed it to be.
Well, that aside, since i gave my word to carry this responsibility, i shall continue this march until the end.
After that i went on to stay back for Ncc.
Plan to go home by 2pm, but i couldn't bear to leave, then came the rain.
There was so much to catch up on.
Saw the secondary school students running and shouting around the school compound, i could feel the life, the blood of youthful days.
Thats such a far cry compared to the boring and meaningless life i face now.
Ncc was great.
I got to refresh my memory about the past when i was still a staff sgt.
My passion for Ncc was once again reignited.
I felt a deep sense of belonging to this school, my secondary school.
This is where i spent the 4 years of my teenage life at, the 4 most impactful years of my life.
This was the place that changed me, molded me, the friends i made here, the beautiful memories, the performances/duties/programs i was involved in....numerous.
Each had their own pieces of bitter and sweet, here are a few i can remember off hand, the admin duties i was involved in as a student council where i had to give out the attendance file every morning, the annual dance performances with winnie n gang for council investiture, the random chinese tea thingy, the enterprise venture where a handful of us from 4I(i could only rmb annie at the moment so sry, haha) sold bubble tea and stuff in pushcarts in school, kotatinggy camp, ncc march camp and so many more.

Walking round the school seemed to bring back memories of those carefree days.
Those enjoyable and happy days where everyday was so happening.
I really enjoyed my secondary school days.
How i wish i could relive my 13- 16 years just like the movie 17again.
Saying about this reminds me of my sec 1 days, those were the classic,
CHILDISH that was what it was, remembered the "whacking games",
but those where the fun days and the days where i got to learn so many new stuff.
Grin, thats all i could do now.
Happy days are over.
Cherish your schooling days while u can,
I am so going to enjoy my uni days to the fullest.

After thinking about this, i often find myself comparing my sec sch days to my jc life.
All in all, i usually came to the same conclusion.
Jc life was trash.
Frankly speaking i do not enjoy it, the memory, just the thought, the picture of the school campus in my mind haunts me.
Talking about my jc cca, if i did say i used to love it in the past, well
SurprisE, i found myself disliking it more and more each day ever since i left the school.
Looking at what the succeeding batch had to experience, the pinch of regret sinks deeper and deeper into my heart.
I really felt that i had joined the wrong cca and had wasted 1 whole year of the peak of my youth.
If i had to pin point someone to shoulder the blame, it would be utterly obvious.
I think he should be hiding in shame after all his air-fairy talks and dreams of what odac would become were nothing more than stink farts.
All his act of arrogance and shit talk about how pro and experience he is,
well how pro are u now as a department hopper?
Or should i say trash being thrown around as nobody wants u?
So much for ur 10year dream when u were kick out of office in just 1 year and also blame it on fate or whatsoever, i really felt so "suay" getting to "suay suay" had u coming into appointment in my year and leaving after that.
Thanks so much for wasting and trashing my jc1.
As for jc2 it was hell, failure i could say, nothing happy to talk about, unpleasant memories especially towards the end, specially had to thank a particular teacher for imprinting these bad nightmares into my jc2 life.
Also to the 2 friends who tried to help repair the nightmare, i am sorry ur kind motives backfired, i knew u meant well, but doing what u did only leaves another "memorial scar" i that resurfaces to prick me everytime i think about jc2.
The whole thing was like a package that, a nightmarish episode which i detest.

Anyway, A level results are coming out in about a week's time and i am so TRASHED.
So OWNED.
Feel like booking a plane that departs immediately after i collect my results and never return to this haunting place ever again.
A friend asked me to go pray with them this sat,
but, even if i do believe in religion,
i don't even think i deserve miracle grades.
I think that fair trade exist in life,
efforts for results,
just like work for money,
or even global warming for technological advances.
Lavish lifestyle, trade it for your climate.
So if i prayed and god decided to give me good grades, who knows if he might just take a piece of my future away?
I rather put in the effort to try again.

But all in all, today was a good day.
My visit to my sec sch revitalised my soul, brought back the "good old days" in me.
Felt that i had to contribute to the school that bought me such happy days.
Especially, felt like contributing to Ncc.
Wait, or was i?
Maybe i just wanna get involved n re-enact happy times thats all.
Wdv.
I insist that my day today was purposeful and so will be my remaining days(b4 enlistment), as i somehow had embarked on a few new tasks i felt i like doing recently.
Hope that i could start a new life in Ns and uni and let my 2 dreadful years be forgotten at the back of the achieve zone of memory land.

Time to sleep,
got to work tmr.
Truly enjoyed the company of the few younger friends i had recently.
Moving into another topic.
I wonder if that special one feels the same?
Well there is not much time left, i am in a dilemma too.
With a tired and grumpy yawn,
Scott signs off.