Here it goes.
I do enjoy being single but sometimes there is just this inclination, a yearning...
Wouldn't it be nice if.......
Before you sleep, you could send a text saying "Goodnight dear! Sweet dreams, love you loads. See you tmr!" and then rest peacefully with that warm and comforting feeling.
When you are hungry or midway through your work, there's a knock on your door. "Darling, it's dinner time!", she said with that sweet smile that immediately relieves all tension from work.
Friday nights and weekends will always be special, holding hands walking down the street aimlessly but having the time of your life.
Movies will always be sweeter, smitten with that coziness and with her leaning on you.
Yeah, wouldn't all that be nice?
However, as a human there is always this innate tendency to resist change.
I've been single for a long time now, I've learned to be independent.
In fact, I consider myself very independent.
Long gone were the days where I had to rely on a clique, these days I resist cliques.
I enjoy the freedom of doing whatever I like, I need not follow the crowd nor do I need to compromise due to peer pressure.
I am entitled to my own set of thinking, I make my own plans and everything I do is definitely what I feel like doing.
I thoroughly enjoy having so much time to myself, doing everything that I want to do and not having to regret that I do not have enough time (for myself) to fulfill some of my wants.
I do not have to convince or wait for others to do something that I want and I simply love that.
Freedom and commitment, they seem worlds apart.
However, there is this possibly that love and affection can be a bridge between these 2 worlds.
There is also the possibility that she may equally enjoy her freedom too and these are all undue worries.
Nonetheless, there exist this inertia that's stopping me from taking things a step further.
What coincidence, she's equally passive.
Sometimes, it feels like there is a possibility, a little amber, but no one is desperate enough to fan it.
The more I think, the more I think that we might be pretty much alike.
Both of us are just enjoying the little sway and waiting to see where the wave will take us.
Arrrrrgh, then again, it may be that I'm just dreaming.
Alright, enough of this love story.
Lets move on.
It's exam week and here I am 'wasting time' blogging.
People are studying, they are all frantically study!
Some of them have even stayed back the entire weekend to study.
And I think she did too.
But SERIOUSLY?
I've given up, yeah I will never understand them, neither will they ever understand me.
The sutdents here have all been hardwired to mug their souls away for exams and tests, that's how they got so many 'A's for A levels in the first place.
I don't care...
Somehow, I felt that either I've gotten smarter or the curriculum here just fits me perfectly.
In this Uni, I always do last minute studying (with sheer arrogance) and it has yet to fail me.
I see some people working 100 times harder than me but when the results are out, I never fail to own their ass big time.
In fact, I think I'm doing pretty much above average this term.
Sometimes, I really wonder if I really became smarter (maybe my mind matured as I got older) or is everyone here just stupid and the only reason why they did so well for there A levels is because they memorized the shit out of the multitude of practice papers they did.
I sincerely hope it's the former though.
I have never breezed through exams and tests so easily in my entire academic journey (that's why I was in neighbourhood schools my whole life), and this is Uni.
Well, I do feel worried and guilty but I know it will all work out fine (like how it had been thus far).
On a different note, I think I'm really fat.
Can you believe that just 2 to 3 years ago, I was only 55kg or at times 52kg?
I'm about 173/174cm, so when I'm topless it's just a flat plane with the ribcage showing through the skin.
Now I'm so fat, I can barely see my ribs even when I lift my arms.
My chest pops out, but you better jolly well not say they are moobs, cause they are NOT!
Anyway, I saw my "heart pumping" today. Can you believe it?
Here's the video.
Anyway, it's pretty lame and the quality suck so don't view it if you don't want to.
Lol! Fat? Who am I kidding right?
I still feel so skinny all the time although I smile to myself in the mirror everyday.
I'm still stuck at 63kg, all the stupid protein shakes have yet to increase my mass.
Need to hit 65kg =(
Must be because of that stupid injury that hindered my progress for more than a month.
Anyway, have fun peeps.
Cheers!
Scott signs off.
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